Hitting the Wall. Blogging is a Catch 22.
I wish I had made my by blog anonymous. I wanted to use this space to reveal needed issues that most people wish someone talked about. (also, my photos, poetry, other stuff…). But if it were anonymous — would it be truly anonymous? How would it get publicized? Would my family and private life be protected? I loved this woman’s truthful article on child rearing, where she fended herself against a Hasidic lawyer and mother:
“The thing that is lacking in the ultra-Orthodox world, and so pervasive in Rachel Frier’s response is introspection; the ability to look inside yourself and see things as they are, and not the way you decided they must be. There is a disturbing level of denial within the religious Jewish community that further reinforces the lack of balance, moderation, any sort of reasoning, and with it the ability to have an honest conversation about motherhood.”
But where do I fit in? I want to talk about more. Bring up societal pressures that many often ride on you for years and don’t even realize its presence.. Some of these are future blog posts: Why do we go to seminary and yeshiva — Is it serving a good purpose or walking a dangerous ledge? Why the hell do we keep watching reality TV? What can learn from outrageous shows like GIRLS?
But…Is it important? Really?
I certainly criticize what others write about. I want my writing to mean something and make a difference. Or at least have others who can– if anything — silently relate.
I don’t want the wishy washy version that brings up one “bad” thing, and follows it with a billion good things and reaffirmations that they are okay. Deal with what makes you queazy then try to solve it. Don’t blanket the truth. But keep working towards betterment.
I want real, hard reality. It can be followed up with life lessons and ways to grow and learn from mistakes. And thus, instigating revelation of one’s own life issues. But to get to those you gotta do open heart surgery. Lay it all on the table.
As Emerson brilliantly said. “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” Destiny is in our hands. But when it comes to blogging in a very public realm, the destiny of what I write is in sometimes what seems to be stuck in stalemate. A catch 22. What do I write next?