Getting Over It…Don’t Should On Yourself

Since my new journey into the mental health field, there is a lot of things I’m learning that are maladaptive about myself.

Why don’t they teach these things in school?

Why doesn’t the work place offer therapy or counseling for their staff to process everyday work place issues?

Whenever I buy something. I feel regret. “Wow, I shouldn’t have bought that.” But how come I couldn’t rephrase that for myself. “Next time I’ll be more careful, but it’s okay that I bought _____ because I needed it.”

I’ve learned that one “shouldn’t SHOULD on themselves.” We are constantly making errors and doing things which cause regret. How is that helpful? How can we change the way we open up our own conversations with ourselves, and remember we are human. I assume you’re a lot meaner and harsher on yourself then you are to a friend or sister. Be your own friend…

We have to stop making unrealistic expectations for ourselves. They are causing us to lower our self-esteem day in and day out. We are human. There are many maladaptive and often unhelpful thought patterns that we do everyday.

I plan to review these unhelpful thought patterns over the course of this blog. Do you ever SHOULD on yourself? How do you cope with it and do you even notice you do it?

Seeing the bigger picture

Seeing the bigger picture


About inmyroots

Aspiring Success.
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7 Responses to Getting Over It…Don’t Should On Yourself

  1. Duba says:

    Great post! It is so true! I can’t tell you how many times I support a client by saying that life is about trial and error, and that mistakes happen and there is always time to repair…If we can be our own support and best friend we would be doing ourselves the biggest favor, and be better workers as well. For some reason it is easier to feel compassion for others than for ourselves-I am not sure why. I guess we expect greatness from ourselves, and that is what allows us to grow and challenge ourselves.

    • inmyroots says:

      Thanks Duba! It means so much to me that you responded 🙂 so true. Why don’t we value ourselves!? Keep at it. We can set high standards but also realize our strengths as well…. Eek.

  2. astrohelix says:

    You know what I like about you? You have a vocabulary. Aside from all your very helpful commentary and advice, your delivery is fantastic. Why is it so hard, in this world of a billion blogs, to find people who can write in their own language??

    On a slight aside, I greatly agree with this post. I hate it when I catch myself thinking “Dammit! I shouldn’t have done that or eaten that!”

    • inmyroots says:

      What a great compliment! Wow! Thank you 🙂 very motivating you are- I’ve been reading a lot lately — more to come! It’s been a long holiday.

    • inmyroots says:

      Ps. Love your blog too. Ill help you get more followers but I doubt you’ll need any help!!

      • astrohelix says:

        So glad you do! One fan is more than we could have asked for! Any help is always appreciated. Let me know if you send some people my way, I’ll make an “Awkward Love” style drawing of you 🙂

  3. loveletters says:

    In my very first therapy session, I was telling her that I should have done something differently, and my therapist basically leaped out of her chair and said, “NO. That word. It’s out of your vocabulary starting today. Stop shoulding all over yourself.” I cracked up, thought it was insane at the time, but it has resonated with me ever since. Our language creates our worlds!

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