I am killing myself slowly. And I know it.
I wasn’t allowed to have soda as a kid. As I grew older and I was able to buy soda, I slowly became addicted to it. (My deprivation led to me believing it was a valued, needed substance.) I must start cutting back. I feel it’s pull after I eat, if I am having a long day, if I am hungry. There are different ways to drink this drug. A can, a bottle and from a bigger bottle. Each gives a different feeling. Each is very addictive.
Working with Cancer this year showed me a few things.
1. There really no telling what causes cancer, or who will be the unlucky winner of this disease.
2. There ARE ways we can try and avoid making ourselves prone to disease, and one is by not consuming chemicals everyday such as aspartame and artificial sugars. Here’s how this chemical came to exist in our soda.
3. My kidneys are important to me, and I don’t really want to end up in dialysis near the end of my life.
4. The guilt I will encounter if I don’t try and be as healthy as I can later in life may consume me, slowly.
and 5. If not for me, for my children.
If I were pregnant, which I am not, I would actively try not to drink soda and diet soda. So why am I drinking it now? I am outing myself here in hopes that I can stick to this ban on diet coke, and eventually all soda. I can drink soda-stream seltzer. That is just carbonated water and feels great on the way down.
My mortality is tangible. We always like to think we are immortal. We are not.
Do you have any suggestions or words of wisdom for me?