What I’ve Learned About Honesty….I hope this comes humbly. We are all fighting our own struggles — all I wish to do is enlighten others with the knowledge I have found in the process of my own discovery.We feel the storm, wrath and burden of crisis. And then — as fast as it came, it’s gone in the blink of an eye. Somehow…we survived.
Since I wrote The Jewish Hair Covering Dilemma, and it’s response, To Cover or Not To Cover, much as happened. There was an uproar of feedback, mostly positive, always insightful. I asked other Rabbi’s for insight, I even questioned my motives and my actions. I found this history of hair covering in Judaism. People reached out to show support, to discuss, debate — and say how honest this was.
Honesty. My hope is that society can find honesty to be the norm among us. If we all were honest with ourselves, our friends and communities — our struggles may become more bearable. The social stigmas we’ve all felt may start to fade away…
Not just with hair covering, but the way people choose to practice judaism, the pressured thinking we get ourselves entangled in…everything Jewish and not-Jewish. Our relationships. Our struggles. I want to hear what makes you uncomfortable, and why. For example, I am uncomfortable with:
- People who get married too young.
- TV ads and overly sexualized young women.
- The amount of diet coke I drink.
- My overbearing fear of not attaining success. Why?
This may help you, and others who might be going through the same thing. Now that I have been open about these things, I want to write more. One may find themselves questioning hair covering and then strengthening their belief in it, in the process. If you hold it in, you may implode with resentment, loneliness and confusion. Honestly.
I asked my Rabbi if I had disappointed him. He said no, and that questioning and trying to figure out these things is how we strengthen our connection with G-d, ourselves, and our religion.
Honesty is harder than it may seem, but once you start — it’s hard to stop. I take for granted my sometimes chutzpah nature. But take it from me. My confliction with hair covering for over many months, which I revealed at full disclosure was extremely difficult — at first. Scary and nerve-racking. But now I have found comfort and confidence in my actions and in everyday life. Of course, it was much worse than I let myself remember. Time heals: memory loss acts in our favor in order to continue moving forward.
I’d like to think humans never stop trying to become better versions of ourselves. This is the road to self-discovery. Let’s support one another. Why does our society hide things from each other? Important issues that make us feel alone? Why do we stifle our growth by being dishonest? Of course, we all have a right to privacy. But when needed, honesty is a powerful tool.
As Rebel Wilson says, “Let’s be honest…”
Or be honest, like Ben Affleck.
What do you wish people were more honest about?