Lately, I have been pretty on edge. I am turning 26.
I am am finally starting to feel like a grown up…Sort of.
I literally feel like my roots are taking place and settling in…I have my own ideas and ways I want to live. I have a feeling that every year I’ll feel that way. I am finishing gradschool this year. Now I have to start career building. I could’ve been almost done with Law School at this point. Did I make a bad choice? Why do I feel that I am not yet ready — but I am so behind? By 26 shouldn’t I be…somewhere else?
Everyone around me is making babies and making monies.
To compare yourself is a set up for constant failure and disappointment But I cannot help to think…did I miss something here? I don’t feel ready to bring life into this world. Although baby pictures make me cry and wonder why I don’t have one of my own.
I am not anywhere near what the “American Dream” as led me to believe I was chasing andtrying to achieve. I am addicted to TV and sugar. And I buy frappacinos on a whim and soulfully regret my wasted $6 and empty calories. I yearn to look like me when I was the cutest little thang out there. However, I am just treading water, trying to stay afloat and stay sane…stay content. Is that such a sin? Yes, I want more.
Damn you, America.
At least I am helping people. When DO we grow up?
(I still feel like I am 22.)